It’s hard to believe it when you can’t even see the horizon because of the cold, cloudy autumn fog. Then, at some point in the afternoon, the fog lifts. You can briefly see the horizon behind the burning autumn leaves. Looks at the autumn leaves. Grin into the sun. Then you focus on the distance again. And in no time at all, it’s dark, cold and wet again.
I didn’t even notice how warm it was when I was travelling around the world. Now I realise all the more how cold it is. I’m permanently freezing, longing for the palm trees of Fiji, the deserts of Nevada, the jungles of Thailand and even the stupid Australian outback. Kettcar to this: Recognising that you’ve been happy is easy. Recognising that you are happy is an art.
Web design is going well, and I’m very happy that my work right now has little to do with design and much more to do with search engine optimisation and databases. Design requires inspiration, my current work requires knowledge and perseverance. I’m as uninspired as a burning autumn tree on the last sunny days. It looks nice, but I can only go further with perseverance.
What has happened since I’ve been back here? Even after four months, I still don’t like the word “home”. I’m not alone in feeling this way, many world travellers feel this way, as I recently found out in the world travel forum. But it still feels that way. The nice thing about travelling was that only the things you could carry were important. Now it’s hard to find something I want to wear again.
Friends are making lives, getting married, having children, planting trees or quitting smoking just before the ban on smoking in pubs is lifted. I stand at the window, look out over the small village and ask myself whether the big dream life can exist here, or whether I have to go on another trip around the world.
What’s wrong with that? Even if the daft Aussies charge up to 8 euros an hour for internet: no job is more location-independent. Okay…in Fiji I could only surf with one hand. The other hand held the mobile phone up for two hours to get reception. So I sit down and write: looking for sponsors for a trip around the world. One hour. Then I save the email under “Drafts”. That’s where it is now.
I’ve been wanting to get away for weeks, looking for a cheap flight to the Caribbean. But there’s nothing. I’m stuck in the cold, sticky German autumn. What’s left? Writing a blog again. So that it doesn’t grow mould. It’s incomprehensible to me that I once really thought I couldn’t leave my home country. Almost as incomprehensible as the fact that I somehow can’t see it anymore.
Frank Woelky, born in 1973. Kitesurfer since 1998. Since 2006, I have been combining kitesurfing and web design on trips lasting several months off the beaten track.