Bad cards in Cardwell

I leave Airlie Beach early. I continue northwards on the A1 motorway. Today’s destination is Mission Beach. There’s not much on the way, but at least after a few hundred kilometres the endless sugar cane fields are replaced by an almost refreshingly varied steppe landscape. A hill with a view. At the top, I enjoy the view and a steaming engine.

I drive on carefully, keeping a constant eye on the coolant gauge. After Townsville comes a steep hill. I gain momentum and cruise upwards at low revs. The result is similar again: my car, a steam engine. Waiting for it to cool down. Smoking, far too much. Top up with water. Watching tourists pass by. I’m stuck again.

After a while, I dare to slowly roll down the hill. No chance. Something comes out of the engine compartment that looks like the mother of special effects in “Fog of Terror”. Off. Standstill. Broken.

Again: see the good. It’s my second engine failure in a fortnight. Gets easier every time. Smoking. Waiting. Stop the Aussies. Many stop, want to help. Phone for towing services. But the nearest town is 30 kilometres away, which would mean at least €150 towing costs. Sorry, I don’t have any more. Besides, the tow truck can’t be reached. And nobody has a rope.

The twentieth Aussie is a really nice grandad with a broken-down car. He also has a tow rope. Two ropes, to be precise. Both thin and not for towing, but together 3 metres long and ultimately strong enough. He tows me 30 kilometres to the next town. The town sign should be an omen for me: Cardwell. The place where I got my arse handed to me.

The mechanic doesn’t say “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more I can do.” But it still takes at least three days for the new V-belt to arrive. Crucifix! Why is life kicking me in the arse like this right now, and when will there finally be more money coming in than going out? I’m broke.

That’s why I’m officially offering all my web design customers (and those who would like to become one) a one-off special offer. Instead of the usual 49€/h I hereby offer my services once, strictly limited and for a limited time at the special price of 98€/h.

Order your homepage today at this special price. You will receive first-class work (I am very well rested, as I do not sit behind the wheel for 5 hours every day). You will also be included in my official evening prayer. I’m an atheist, but the way fate is taking me right now, there must be a higher power. Tell me their name and your prayer will go directly to the desired address.