I join the Facebook group “I drink ouzo and help Greece out of debt”. The Bild newspaper teaches us that we are financing luxury pensions for the Greeks. 22 billion is a drop in the ocean. Every third Greek employee is a civil servant.
That calls for more blind actionism. I fly to Rhodes and immediately start my humanistically motivated aid project “Trivago sells four stars at 12 euros a day”. At these rates, it will only take roughly 780 years until we are king of Greece again. If the plan doesn’t work out, we’ll simply send Stoiber down. (more…)
I Hate Julius!
There are names that send shivers down my spine every time I hear them. Names that induce pure, abysmal hatred. Names that are a punishment. Names as punishments have become very fashionable in recent years – or I’m getting on in years…I’m still thinking about it.
I hate Julius. It’s such a trendy new German old humanist name. If you’re called Julius, you’re an idiot. Or rather: becomes one. Like the gentleman, like the gentlewoman. Julius’ parents are always of the “I have a son, I don’t need a gun licence to be a control freak” variety. Every Julius less makes me happy that Germany is dying out. (more…)
Saludos Venezuela
Venezuela is a strange country. A lost country. Its inhabitants endure their fate as stoically as the Cambodians. Sometimes there is milk to buy, and sometimes they are willing to sell it to you. Otherwise, they have few interests. Venezuela is in a coma.
The American pirate has recovered his yacht. The police have arrested the privateers and looted the boat. To avoid ending up in prison too, the American pirate only had to pay $1,000, final sale. Venezuela is a country where pirates pay. (more…)
El Yaque Kite Killers
The last four days in EL Yaque were not under a good star. Not for anyone. I’ve never seen so many kite killers in such a short space of time. Take this: Four days of constant chop, day and night. The absolute minimum was 10 knots, mid 25s, peaks of up to 38 knots. Measured on the beach.
The day before yesterday I went out in the mid-30 knots with the 10-liner. After 500 metres my 5-liner collapses (ask me how that works…), pops up again and pulls me first through the air and then under water. By the time I’m back on top, it has already hit the water. I only realise that a connecting seam from the strut to the front tube has burst a day later when I try to mend a tube. (more…)
Kitesurfing Coche At 30 Knots
My soundtrack for today: Riders on the storm. Highway to hell. I will survive. We lift you up where we belong. Bad Religion. Nine Inch Nails. Perfect day. Early in the morning, after a hard night’s sleep, we cross over to the neighbouring island of Coche. In the morning there’s already a lot of flying sand on Isla Margarita.
Coche. White sand, palm trees, a few hotels. 30 kiters on a 100-metre-wide flat-water piste similar to a tournament course close to the beach. The wind is chopping with 10-minute values of 22-30 knots measured on the beach. Kites: everything between 5 and 9 m². Mine has 10, my knees are shaking. I’ve never been out in such nasty winds. (more…)
I Believe I Can Fly
The days on El Yaque fly by. A bit of work in the morning, then out kiting from midday. I increase the dose of kiting to three hours a day, sometimes significantly more. In the evening, a beer at sunset on the kite beach. Good tuna steak, good people and good cocktails.
The sailmaker needs a whole week to repair my kite. There were 20 others before me. But it’s no big deal. The wind chopped at 20 to 30 knots all week. In other words: the 10 Blade Vertigo is just perfect. Thanks for the loan, Jörg! (more…)
Wild West Isla Margarita
Isla Margarita really is the wild west. I heard and read a lot of rough stories before I left. After just 10 days, I have a few to add myself. First I learn that everything is safe in the hostel, the accommodation has never been robbed. A few days later, a regular guest corrects me: Not yet under this management.
But a year ago, several masked and armed robbers broke in and forced the guests to open the safes. That teaches you two things: firstly, the police station 100 metres away is worth a damn. Secondly, I definitely don’t lock my things in the safe. (more…)
Kite Sadness
After two days in the room due to sunburn and work, the wind picks up again. I go out on the water in the afternoon. I’m the only kiter on the beach in front of El Yaque Motion. I launch the kite in a gusty 18 knots and head out. After half an hour, I’ve made it half a kilometre through an armada of surfers to the kite beach.
I let myself drop through the armada again. In front of my beach, the wind is getting stronger and very rough. Then it happens. During a high jump, a gust catches me. Instead of steering the kite forwards again, I pull it backwards. It stalls and falls out of the sky without any pressure. (more…)
Happy Kite On El Yaque
On the very first day, I step on a sea urchin on my second kite attempt. Two minutes later, to save myself a stupid-looking limp, I decide to step on a second sea urchin with my other foot. Now everything is symmetrical again.
It’s incredible how famous some small places are. The kite beach at El Yaque is just 50 metres long and world-famous. There are only 30 kiters there today. The kitebeach is completely in the lee of a small hill, which creates stupid eddies. Practically every kite collapses at least once at the start. Even mine. (more…)
In Timmerberg’s Footsteps
I get good books as presents. Helge Timmerberg three times in the last six months alone, none of them knew about the others and each came exactly once. I narrowly survived the first one with an acute abdominal muscle tear. The second is now lying next to me on the train to Basel. I’m afraid to start.
There is real travelling. And there is the opposite. Timmerberg does everything right, because he does practically everything wrong. He’s not afraid of it. He sees more, asks more, almost never finds what he is looking for – and falls on his face much harder than any stiletto-wearing mountaineer. I’m following in Timmerberg’s footsteps. (more…)
Snowkiting in and around Regensburg
I’ve been kiting since 1999 and since then there has never been snow and wind at the same time in Regensburg. This week is different. We’ve had snow for a long time and the wind has given us three good days of snowboarding and kiting this week. On Tuesday I’m going snowkiting for the first time in my life.
The wind at the Regensburg windmill is quite weak and the holes in between always make for forced sessions in the snow. But it’s enough for a few first tracks. With 10 knots of wind and 15 cm of snow, I’ve never had so much fun. I buy my first helmet in the evening. Snow is harder than water. (more…)
Kitesurfing in Tenerife
The trip was worth the journey. Even though I only had three good days within a week in December, it should be enough. On the penultimate day, the wind arrives at Tejita Beach with a gust of 20-28 knots. 20 kiters dash through two metre high waves.
The first wave at the start was intentional. I discovered a stain on my body and wanted to get a good wash. My jumps get higher, the landings get dirtier and dirtier. The best crash landing led over 10 metres of air directly from behind into a two-metre wave that was just breaking. It was almost no longer funny. (more…)
Rainy kite in El Medano
After three days in the doldrums, the wind finally arrives on Tenerife. In the morning, I see five rainbows in quick succession from the balcony and know that something is going to happen today. I pack my stuff and beam up to El Medano – once again I can’t find the exit.
On the beach, 300 tourists are building rafts as part of an occupational therapy programme. When it starts to rain, a quarter of them crowd into the three containers at the Playa Sur surf centre. Then the wind slowly picks up. I frown. Almost full offshore. No rescue.
With stilettos on the Teide
Eureka! We’ve made it. We’ve found our way out of the urbanisation! I speed up the bends to Teide in our little Toyota. At an altitude of 1000 metres, I remember that I forgot to make a note of the route. Hopefully we’ll make it out again in the next few days…
The sky is blue and we soon have the clouds below us. Red rock, black pumice, the scent of Canary Island pine. Wonderful. There are no straights. There are only curves. The Ipod yodels in the back seat and we yodel at every bend. (more…)
One-way streets into the urbanisation
Windfinder sounds the alarm. Early in the morning, I look for a way to kite in the neighbouring village of El Medano. It’s not easy. All the roads in our empty private urbanisation are one-way streets. I end up back at the hotel seven times, with no way out. Nevertheless, I find the one-way street system symbolically very fitting.
Yesterday evening, a short walk along the beach promenade. Every waiter in every empty restaurant, without exception, is courting us. There is a shopping mall in the basement. All the shops are empty. At the end, Elvis closes his Memphis Bar. It’s eight o’clock in the evening. (more…)
With kiteboard in the Condor to Shining
Off to Tenerife! I register my kiteboard with Condor. I’ve long since come to terms with the fact that, as a heavy kitesurfer, I have to pay an extra €50 for my sports luggage every time, while the poor golfers are always allowed to take their much heavier luggage for free. But today Condor is serving me a new scoop.
My kiteboard is registered with Condor before I have all my new equipment together. I estimated the weight at 15kg. Condor charges 25 euros per flight for a board bag up to 25kg. My bag is weighed: 17.3kg. For the 2.3kg “overweight” the lady at check-in charges an extra 30 euros. [Update 10.01.10: Condor has refunded…] (more…)
Cologne main station, McDonalds, 3 a.m
The Mac Donalds at Cologne Central Station is as crass as it gets. I sit here for the last two hours waiting for my morning train. At first I think about finishing Feuerstein’s Travelling on the iPod. But that would be a waste. I’m sitting in the middle of a gay zombie film.
There’s a bum sleeping in a mayonnaise stain in the corner. I hope. Opposite, a whole group. Completely strulle they keep tipping penny beer into their cappuccino cups. They have a seventh sense, because the bottle always disappears exactly when an employee comes round the corner, and he often does. (more…)
Bye bye Boa Vista
The time on Boa Vista was good. Travelling with highs and lows, lots of surprises and few expectations. Good people, good food, good music. Our Italian hosts at Residencial A Paz invited us to dinner several times. On the last evening, we get our revenge with a four-course meal.
At the end of my trip to Boa Vista, I get to know some of the inmates of the ****** RIU Karamboa Camp. They pay only slightly more for all-inclusive luxury than I do for ** with breakfast. But I still wouldn’t swap. I have less luxury and more fun. My money is better distributed. (more…)
Kitesurfing on Boa Vista
The wind comes back on the penultimate day. I don’t need any more offshore wind. At lunchtime I get a trip to the RIU Karamboa Hotel in the south of the bay of Sal Rei. The wind here is only about 30 degrees side-offshore. I set up and have a look around.
Another one of those Smurf houses. All-inclusive terrourists, snot-covered banderl wearers and a caipi with beach volleyball. Sun bangers, topless, fuck everything and especially the country and its culture. Off to the bar. A water please, here’s the money. But drinks are only available everywhere with a banderl, nothing else. (more…)
Hiking on Boa Vista
The following days are nice and quiet. Too calm in one respect. After my board-off there were two days of very big waves. Then four days of calm. I quickly make a small business card for my hotel boss. In return, I get his kiteboard for the rest of the holiday.
I go out briefly with the 19 Assault, but even with that I can only keep my height with difficulty. A day later the wind comes back, but: No joke, there’s no more petrol in the whole of Boa Vista and Sal Rei. It will stay that way until Monday. No lifeboat, no kiting.
We go on another tour in the jeep. First stop: the desert of Viana. The wind has dumped the Sahara sand over thousands of kilometres in the middle of Boa Vista. A fine little desert was created over six by three kilometres. We continue through the stony desert to the north beach.
Kitesurfing on the Cape Verde Islands
I was quite disappointed with my first time kitesurfing in Cape Verde. Cape Verde is located in the middle of the Atlantic – not quite in the middle of the Sahara, but still a good distance away. You’d think the wind would be laminar. But it’s not at all. It is extremely gusty, now in November constantly changing between 12 and 28 knots every second from 10 am to 5 pm. Regardless of the coast.
A diving instructor on Estoril beach has a Zodiac for the recue. This is urgently needed: a maximum of 5 kiters per 10 kilometres, wind 75 degrees offshore. There is a small offshore island in the direction of the wind. Otherwise, the next stop is Brazil. (more…)
Boa Vista Social Club on Tour
I let two girls persuade me to go on a guided tour to the most beautiful beach. I don’t like guided tours because they mean that someone knows where to go, the destination is defined and no surprises are to be expected. All three points are elementary contradictions to real travelling.
Travelling means discovering. Travelling means being surprised, positively and negatively. Travelling means: the journey is the destination. Just as this thought crosses my mind, the guide sitting with us in the back of the open pickup apparently no longer knows which of the many dirt tracks leads to the most beautiful beach. I breathe a sigh of relief. (more…)
The sound of Cape Verde
I’m ready for the island
General Motors And Opel
When was the last time something like this happened? Ten minutes of news about a failed deal? General Motors is not selling Opel to Magna. But the deal is only now starting. General Motors’ long hesitation in selling Opel already indicates that they never intended to sell the crown jewel of the group.
Great hypothesis, isn’t it? I don’t have any proof, but anyone is welcome to add it in the comments below. I write with a certain amount of anger. Opel has been building really good cars for several years, producing very profitably. GM is like a sick tree before winter: first suck the sap out of the leaves. (more…)
The Author
Frank Woelky, born in 1973. Kitesurfer since 1998. Since 2006, I have been combining kitesurfing and web design on trips lasting several months off the beaten track.