The election results in Bavaria and Austria were landslides. In Austria the dirt is brown, in Bavaria rather black. Austrians and Bavarians were very frustrated by parties that only talk to the people but don’t listen to them. Politicians freely used the programmes of the opposing parties. There were hardly any points of view left, just pap.
Who wins under such conditions is clear: anyone who makes a name for themselves as extreme. Bavaria will soon have a latex dominatrix in government. That’s still halfway funny because she will probably continue to wear black clothes. But I feel sorry for Austria. In some districts of Vienna, the right-wingers got over 50% of the vote. Are Austrians the better Nazis, or have they finally shouted out their Leyd? (more…)
Munich
Munich is exactly the same as always: everyone drives like idiots, the beer is expensive and nobody speaks Bavarian. I visit David. We move from roast pork to the Isarauen and beer garden to gyros one Sunday. I’ve been here before. Everything is strangely familiar and far away. Another European Championship quarter-final is on in the evening. I sleep through half of it.
Business appointments drive me through Munich on my bike in temperatures of over 30 degrees. I don’t want to live here, I’m glad I’m only here for two days. Everything dissolves a little, even customers. In this case positively, from now on there are two separate HPs to look after. I’m not standing still, but I’m not moving either. I look out onto the street. A summer storm scatters its hailstones over Munich. (more…)
Germany is peculiar
The flight home is good. A large sticker is emblazoned on the tail fin: “We also brake for idiots”. In the skies above Berlin, the pilot flies holding patterns for almost an hour. Bush’s Airforce One has priority. I don’t arrive in Nuremberg until late in the evening. My emails have got stuck, my parents don’t know I’ve arrived.
I’m lying in bed between 400 printed pages for my tax return. I immediately feel German again. Enjoy fast, stable WiFi. Work. Eat pretzels, bread cake, red fruit jelly, beer-battered ham sandwiches and schnitzel. Everything looks the same as it did a year ago. Nothing has changed. “Home” is like a normal stop on the journey. I’ve been here before, I remember. But the connection is missing. (more…)
The farang is the shit
Have you heard the standing term “Bumsbomber to Bangkok”? On the return flight, the thing is called “Stupidly fucked to Berlin” and mainly takes place in the queue in front of the LTU check-in at Bangkok airport. I stand in the middle and listen. The protagonists: two ugly Germans well past their prime. To avoid the danger of self-identification, let’s simply call them “One” and “Two”.
One: “As a farang, you can’t buy property in Thailand. You can set up a company, but only with tricks, and then you don’t own it.”
Two: “Hm.” (more…)
Stoppage time
No, the game is not over yet. There’s injury time. I’m going to the airport. Work offline for a few more hours. Go to check-in 2.5 hours before departure. I’m pleased to see the same woman at the counter who said earlier: “Kiteboard? No problem!”. Then I look for my passport. Search. Search. And search.
In the middle of the airport, I dismantle all my luggage. Unroll every T-shirt, open every bag. A 10 metre long carpet spreads out on the white marble floor. I check every corner of my rucksacks three times. Call the Lub*D again. Nothing. The last time I had my passport was the day before yesterday morning when I was packing. I haven’t taken it out since then. It must have been stolen. (more…)
The end of a long journey
Today is the last day of my long journey. Everything comes to a remarkably quiet end. The sights of Bangkok remain unvisited, I’ve seen enough. Working, chatting, emailing. Going through old stories on the blog. I’m neither sad that my trip is over, nor am I particularly looking forward to going home. I’m somewhere in an empty and quiet centre.
The big realisations have failed to materialise. Friends say I can only recognise them when I get home. The same goes for change. I have become stronger. My bones ache in some places and I’m still chronically tired. But it was all worth it. There are 100,000 beautiful images and moments inside me. (more…)
Bangkok for the last time
My last place, my last days. Bangkok. I have a lot to do. Work, write invoices. Picking up a new pair of glasses that I ordered a month ago. Have a wooden spoon carved, revalidate my London-Munich flight ticket, get my camera repaired again. Most of my last two days are spent shopping. Everything is going well. I have exactly 120 euros left. Done :-)
At home I’ll be playing Christmas in the summer. Father Christmas is red with envy, he’s seen my rucksack. I carry my shopping through hot and humid Bangkok back to the lub*d and make a nice pile of presents. (more…)
The Vuckings Of Pattaya
The Vuckings are a barbaric raiding tribe from the far north. Their skin is white, their beards long, their bellies fat. They are all so ugly that you almost feel sorry for them. They take what they want, questions are superfluous. Fickinger drink and bawl, especially after supposed victories. Everything you’ve ever heard about the Fickingers is true. Except for one thing: they don’t have axes. They have hammers. Very, very small ones.
All joking aside. That was serious. The world is so complicated. Nothing is as it seems. No prejudice can be permanently defended. Pattaya is different. You don’t have to defend anything here. Just open your eyes and write down half-truths. Every illusion becomes the sad truth at the next corner. (more…)
Angkor Wat
We get up before five o’clock. We spend a whole day being chauffeured from temple to temple in Ankor Wat by tuk-tuk. The ticket office is the first attraction. 5.30am, crowds of people. for Cambodian standards, an entrance fee of $20 is outright madness. Of this, 10% goes to monument conservation, the rest goes to a petro-giant and the Ministry of Finance. At least $200,000 a day is apparently not enough. Restorations are paid for by Japan and France.
Ankor Wat, World Heritage Site. You have to go. I’m there now. The sunrise is beautiful. And the rest is just as I imagined it would be. Nothing new, nothing to discover. Even though Tomb Raider was filmed here. After 12 temples, we drive home again. Our brains are muddy, our feet flat. (more…)
Simply tired
I ride my motorbike for another day. During the colonial era, the French created a summer resort in the coastal mountains nearby, similar to Bach Ma in Vietnam. The off-road track into the mountains to Bokor is said to be one of the most beautiful roads in Cambodia. I drive over 100 kilometres to get there. There is a sign next to the barrier: road closed to motorbikes. Not for cars. The guards are incorruptible.
On the way back, I get caught in a tropical downpour. No jacket can keep it out. I take another look at the weird nightlife and how all humanity dissolves inconspicuously. One guy gives his friend money so that his “hooker” doesn’t steal it after giving him a blow job. I go to bed and politely fend off the knocker shortly afterwards. (more…)
All quite normal, somewhere in the middle of nowhere
I take the bus for a few hours to the coast. A small town called Nowhere. By motorbike to empty sandy beaches in the off-season. The first signs of Kamibiza appear in the form of large concrete castles. Old majestic wrought-iron fences from the colonial era are everywhere. They surround empty fields. Other walls stand in the air on 2 metre high stilts. Escher would certainly have liked that.
Posters against child prostitution hang everywhere. There are some helpers on the bus wearing T-shirts from a home for street children in Nowhere. I am worried. It is reassuring that child prostitution is being publicised. What is worrying is that it seems to be necessary. (more…)
Living and dying in Phnom Penh
Phnom Penh is a city in black and white. Some shades of grey seem like colours at first. In the evening, however, I am sure that there aren’t even any shades of grey. Why? I have seen poverty. It’s worse here. Slums are guarded by rubbish belts. The millionaires’ mansions a block away are guarded by barbed wire and CTV. I’ve seen despair. Here it has only one eye. I’ve heard of genocide. Here the murderers ended up killing each other. I have heard of forgiveness. Here there is only forgetting.
Phnom Penh is black and white. Old Khmer Rouge sit in parliament. The elite help themselves to everything the people lack. The people lack everything and they shout at me all day long: give me your money! (more…)
Web design in the Mekong Delta
Get up at six, leave at seven. Three hours by bus to the Mekong. Walking, boating, walking, eating, walking, boating, walking, bus, walking, ferry, walking, three hours by bus. I fall asleep again and again. The hours pass me by like a zombie on tranquillisers. The sun is shining and water lilies float in the brown waters of the Mekong.
The tour group is quite nice, a colourful mix, young and old and from all over. Not terror tourists, but people with interesting stories and questions. But I’m too tired. Switch on the MP3 player and go back to sleep. Some work in the evening, but I can’t concentrate. More than 6 hours’ sleep for the first time in three days. (more…)
Good Night, Vietnam!
The wind has gone for good in Mui Ne. The full moon shines on the mirror-smooth sea. Once the wind is gone, the mosquitoes come. I haven’t even used a bottle of mosquito repellent in a year of travelling the world. I put up with swarms in the jungle of Fiji without a murmur. But the last night in Mui Ne is madness.
I watch a film and try to ignore the five mosquitoes on my arm. After that, the bites become murderous. I go to the wax bar three more times in the hope that the mosquitoes will eventually go to sleep. Rest wrapped in a sheet in a hammock on the beach. Mosquitoes bite through. 187 bites later, I wake the boss at three and organise a mosquito net. (more…)
Real capitalism in Vietnam
What is it in Vietnam now? Communism is written all over the place, but it’s nowhere to be found. Uncle Ho Chin Minh is still God, but his sheep value money far more than a sense of community. Everyone fights for themselves. The democratic military dictatorship in Fiji was much more communist. Vietnam is real capitalism with an asterisk.
There are only two reasons why Vietnam remains officially communist: firstly, there is a better way to justify the expensive visas. Secondly, the Soviet stars make a good souvenir. Otherwise, only Quicksilver copies would remain. All Vietnamese run around with them today, the red stars are totally out of fashion for them. (more…)
Better to remember My Son…
Just 50km south of Hoi An there is another world heritage site: My Son, an ancient Hindu cult centre of the Chumpa kingdom. Built between the 3rd and 15th centuries, the Chumpa developed masterly skills in mortarless brick construction. Some of the old temples still stand today.
in 1968, the Vietcong had a base here. The resulting US bombings took out 8 towers. Today – more or less – 20 tower temples still stand in an idyllic rainforest valley. Grass grows on the bricks. Old and new, it really smells of history here. UNESCO, I apologise for the mistake with Hoi An. (more…)
Forget Hoi An!
Everyone has to go to Hoi An. An old town, a historic ensemble, carefully renovated. A UNESCO World Heritage Site and proclaimed the highlight of every visit to Vietnam by every travel guide without exception. Today I arrive in Hoi An and need a whole two hours to develop a completely different opinion: Hoi An is the most pathetic world heritage site I have ever visited.
Just counted: I’ve visited 18 UNESCO sites so far on this trip around the world. Since last year, my home town of Regensburg has also been a World Heritage Site. The sites are selected on the basis of their outstanding historical significance in conjunction with actual history. That’s exactly why I’m shouting to the world: Forget Hoi An! (more…)
Bach Ma National Park
My landlady organises a Xe Om for me in the morning to the Bach Ma National Park, 40 km away. The French feudal lords built almost 150 villas here within 10 years from 1932 as a summer retreat in the mountains. Just 20 kilometres from the sea, the peaks rise up to 1500 metres. Steep mountains, green rainforest, shrouded in high clouds.
Entry is almost free. But I have problems getting to the summit. There are two options: walk 16km through tropical rainforests in the midday heat, or try the national park minibus. 20 euros for 9 people. But Bach Ma is quite unknown, and it’s low season: I am officially confirmed as the only guest in the 22,000 hectare national park. (more…)
In the old royal city of Hue
I’m going to treat myself. A whole penthouse dorm on the fourth floor with a view over the old royal city of Hue. For me alone. I just about have the four euros a day. You can get some WiFi at the top, I work the whole first day. There are good restaurants, I try far too many. In the evening I’m almost too stupid to work with a bloated stomach. The DMZ bar is buzzing, but I get tired quickly.
In the morning, I set off for the old royal palace. The Vietnamese rulers of the Nguyen dynasty reigned here from 1805 to 1945. Hue is a citadel. High walls and a moat surround the city. The palace is a citadel within the citadel. At the very centre is the sanctuary: the innermost citadel housed the royal concubines. (more…)
Flowers in a war zone
At six in the morning, we set off on the bus to Dong Ha, the last major town before the Demilitarised Zone. We want to spend a whole day visiting the former border between North and South Vietnam and some of the worst battlefields of the war. Two hours later we are in Dong Ha, 30 minutes later I have a room, breakfast, a motorbike and Jörg has his evening ticket to Hanoi.
We don’t want to travel in a group, so we treat ourselves to a private guide for $15 a day. Quang is 50 and has lived through the war. Hopes were high, but before we see the first tank he tells us stories of glorious Vietcong concubines killing GIs. That may have been the case, but he puts it all across quite comically. (more…)
Night train to nowhere
We take a taxi in the rain to Phan Thiet railway station, 30 kilometres away. Jörg has bought his ticket separately and we have different compartments. The journey takes us through endless rice fields. Last night was short, we were well rested. I fall asleep quickly. But not for long.
There are a whopping 9 people in my six-person compartment. One is a baby in a swing in the centre. It cries almost the whole night. That’s not so great, but what’s really cool is the young, overburdened mother. She keeps nagging the baby loudly. The apathetic young dad plays the Vietnamese hit parade up and down on his Sony mobile phone in the corner. I can’t get no sleep. (more…)
Kite until you drop
The wind has been blowing all week. I’m starting to believe that my “wherever you are, the wind should be gone” curse has also been blown away. I can’t remember being on the water for at least two hours a day for a whole week in 10 years of kiting. But that’s exactly what Mui Ne is.
I could really grow old here. Designing a few homepages on a deckchair on the beach in the morning. A few hours of kitesurfing in the afternoon. Go out for a good meal in the evening. Then a beer in the Wax Bar next door. A film to fall asleep to and off to bed. If this is what regularity looks like, I would probably never get bored of it. (more…)
Dragon tamers and wind animals
The days follow a fixed rhythm. Get up late in the morning, walk 20 metres to the beach and keep your nose to the wind. Breakfast and hijack the neighbour’s WiFi. Two hours of work, nose into the wind again. Set up the kite, talk shop and head out onto the water. Today, the wind was really blowing for the first time. And Windfinder reckons there’s more to come.
My kite was always a little underpowered. Today everything fits from two o’clock. I’m hanging comfortably in the harness, don’t have to pull anything, just let myself drift. The waves outside are up to 1.5 metres high because of the wind. It’s also quite gusty, I have my problems with the ups and downs out at sea. There’s a lot to learn from cruising alone. (more…)
Kitesurfing in Vietnam
After almost 10 weeks and three countries in the doldrums, I finally get to kitesurf in Vietnam again. Windfinder predicted good wind from Sunday and was right. We came back at exactly the right time. My three friends can do their kitesurfing course and I’m finally happy again without too much effort.
There were heavy thunderstorms the previous night. Apparently Vietnam doesn’t work much with water power. As soon as the rain came, the power went out for 24 hours. It’s hard to work with flat batteries and no internet. My lot is even cruel. I have no excuse not to kite all afternoon. I set up the kite at eleven o’clock. After the first light winds, the kite falls out of the air and builds beautiful line nests. (more…)
From heaven via hell to the sea
The last day in biker heaven in Da Lat takes us directly to a communist toboggan run. We speed down into the valley to a waterfall, then up to the second ride. For the first time in Vietnam, a person drives carefully. In this case, far too carefully. A Vietnamese man blocks the toboggan run at 5 kilometres per hour, a path on which you don’t encounter ghost drivers every minute.
Back at the hotel, we saddle up our bikes and take an alternative route back to the sea. My sense of direction usually puts us on the right roads. But we still have to keep asking. The maps are too bad and the signs are extremely sparse. We drive through cloudy rainforest mountains on mogul tracks through the Vietnamese highlands. (more…)


















































Frank Woelky, born in 1973. Kitesurfer since 1998. Since 2006, I have been combining kitesurfing and web design on trips lasting several months off the beaten track.