Who actually voted for Bush?

The reactions to my announcement “I’m going to America” were clear: “You? What have you been saying about Bush for years?”. All my friends were right. It’s weird, I just wanted to have a few prejudices confirmed. But to this day it hasn’t worked at all.

Afternoon. A bus stop in Seattle. A woman asks for the time and after two sentences hears that I’m from Germany. Embarrassing. I already know what’s coming next. She asks what I think of Bush. I want to answer, but she’s already ranting off with a heart-warming tirade of hatred. I like America more and more.

It’s not the first time this has happened to me. It happens to me all the time. Another example: I do it with all my hosts according to the motto: whoever answers first, I’ll visit. No pre-selection whatsoever. So the political position of my hosts should also be pure coincidence. So far, however, I’ve only had one Republican host. And he regretted his decision because he now has to worry about flying to North Africa.

So, if that’s the average, who actually voted for Bush? I thought it was at least 49% of Americans. But it seems to be significantly less. Attempted explanations: Do Republicans not know how to use the Internet? Do they read more slowly or can’t write? Is that why Democrats always answer first? Or: do Republicans avoid international contacts (would be a serious mistake – in times of expensive timber, they could sell vast quantities of it right in front of their skulls)?

Who actually voted for Bush? I can’t find one. Was it the voting machines? The non-voting incarcerated felons? The military out of sheer gratitude for wonderfully useful legitimate tasks? Or perhaps alcoholic ecologists hoping for a ban on ethanol in petrol? After all, drinkable alcohol could also be made from maize.

I’m really afraid to wear my first American T-shirt on the street. It shows the likenesses of Bush Senior and Junior. Subtitle: Dumb and Dumber. At first I was afraid of being stoned to death. Now I’m afraid of suffering a fate like Grenouille Baptiste in “Perfume” for all my love.

I don’t understand it. Who actually voted for Bush? With a request for further theories.

Illustration: Alexander Kiss, harlekin-cartoon