Quo Vadis, Germania?

Leaving has never been harder. Our almost four-year-old little human has developed rough edges and now shows strengths and weaknesses. She couldn’t be better with all of them. As much as she pushed me to my limits again and again last year, I will miss her immensely during my month in Sinai.

I am leaving a country that is falling apart. The economic situation has never been more tense. There has never been less cohesion. I have never identified myself as “German”. But even at the railway station I miss the homeland I had forgotten at home: my Donautaler, the best bread in the world, with butter, chives and fleur du sel.

The first train to the airport is cancelled. The second is late. Then it has a locomotive fault. After waiting 30 minutes in vain for a repair, I board the last possible third train. Germany used to be considered reliable and punctual. Now only the unbelievable words of my grandad echo in my ears: “Everything used to be better!”.

Was it? When did Germany give up its strengths and lose its cohesion? When did I myself forget my homeland? Was it when I realised that not a single person in our little girl’s kindergarten group even spoke enough German to hold a candle to her?

Or when the migrant gangs smoking weed in the middle of the pedestrian zone gave a world traveller the feeling of safety of a slum in Brazil’s Recife during their verbal mob battles? Why the hell do I feel uncomfortable? At least the person pissing in the flower pot isn’t going to attack me immediately.

Was it “those up there” who conveyed a lack of planning par excellence with their constant “left, right, forwards, backwards”? Or have we always favoured building clay houses (recently without solar panels) in earthquake zones? I seriously wish we had a king again.

At the next elections, Germany’s dams will probably finally break and the “firewall” will be extinguished. The “alternative” will rule. I understand the voters’ frustration. But despite everything that’s going more than just wrong: it’s not their choice. It’s just a little bit of history repeating. An announcement is made on the train: “Dear passengers, due to signal box faults, arrival at the terminus will be delayed.”. My annoyed grin is reflected in the windscreen in front of the fields of Lower Bavaria. Quo vadis, Germania?